What Makes Therapy Work
Ahhh, now we're getting down to what really, truly matters
Let's suppose you've winnowed your list. You've found someone who seems sensitive and receptive on the phone. Someone whose approach fits your own. You make an appointment.
Think of this first appointment as a "consultation," not as the beginning of six months of therapy. A consultation means you spend part of the time telling them about yourself and then you spend at least 15 minutes discussing how they think they can help you.
As you talk with them ask yourself how they score on the following three questions. All the latest research shows that if the therapist scores on these, you'll have great results:
- EMPATHY Do you feel that the therapist cares about you? Do you feel genuinely accepted for who you are? Does the connection between you feel real? Does the therapist have a warm heart? Is there a bond? Not just as doctor and patient - but as two people?
- AUTHENTICITY Does the therapist seem to walk the talk? Does what they say seem real? Does it come from some truly honest place inside them - or is it just something a therapist says to a client?
- DO THEY WANT YOUR FEEDBACK? All really good therapists encourage you to tell them how they're doing. They want to know if the therapy's working for you or, if not, what you feel they're missing. All the research shows that when you're encouraged to shape your own therapy, you make changes more quickly - and feel better about it. You deserve a therapist who cares about your feedback.